First of all, let me start off by apologizing to all Wisconsinites. I am sure you are nice (particularly if I know you well enough that you are reading my blog), but man, me and the state of Wisconsin are just not friends*. Below are a few reasons for this long-standing feud I have with the land of cheese, the Pack and I-94.
1. Weather. I think that I must have a bad weather beacon from the state of Wisconsin. Almost every time I drive through there, there is a tornado, blizzard or torrential rain. Or all three, if I am lucky. Take, for example, the trip that Dad and I took to Notre Dame during the spring of my senior year of high school. We left Chaska on a sunny Friday afternoon, hoping to make it to Chicago before full dark (which was fairly early, because it was spring). Things were going well until about two hours into Wisconsin…sky darkens ominously and then…downpour. Lightning, thunder, pouring rain – these all make for awesome driving.
2. Cheese. Cheese as a standalone food is one of the most disgusting things I can imagine. The smell, the feel and worst of all, the texture – gross! The entire state of Wisconsin is one giant cheese factory. Some people may like this…I do not.
3. The Green Bay Packers. I’ll admit it. As a high schooler, I cheered for the Packers. Was it because they were Super Bowl champions? Maybe. Was it because I thought Brett Favre was HOT? Probably. Was it because the Vikings were simply terrible then? Possible, though not much has changed. Anyways. Whenever the Packers play the Vikings, state pride really becomes an issue. Even if the Vikes get killed, it doesn’t matter. The Packers are no longer a team I can cheer for…they no longer have (old) Favre, and they aren’t Super Bowl champions. Sorry, Pack.
4. I-94. As mentioned above, my luck with driving in Wisconsin is not good. Not only does weather torment me in that state, so do other road hazards. Particularly, but not limited to, construction. This past weekend, we had two major delays in the big WI, and while neither was due to construction (this time), we literally waited for over two hours on the stupid interstate. There really aren’t many exits, and thus, we were lucky enough to just…sit there.
5. Oddly named highways. Highways should be numbers, not letters. In addition, if highways must be lettered, please do not use multiple letters. Highway A and Highway AA appear mighty similar in the dark in the middle of nowhere.
*The only friendliness Wisconsin and I share is due to their wonderful lakes and beautiful “up north” country. Someday I will likely own land in Wisconsin (CABIN!), and therefore, I hope to repair my relationship with the state. I hereby offer my hand in peace, Wisconsin. Your reaction to my offer the next time I cross into your borders is now up to you. I hope we can be friends.
Yes, it took me almost 10 hours to drive home from Chicago yesterday.
3 weeks ago